Not Your Average Joe

I was driving to the headquarters of an important client and I was worried. I was in the early stages of working on a new massive corporate headquarters deal for Porsche Cars North America. It was a big deal. It was an important deal. I had worked years building the relationships that allowed me to work on this deal. But my anxiety grew with every mile as I got closer to the building.  

I had a great concern because the client hired a new General Counsel to whom real estate would report. I was headed to my first meeting with the new top lawyer and my mind raced with scenarios. Maybe he had existing relationships and I would be dismissed. Maybe we wouldn’t get along. Maybe he was a just not a nice guy. There was a disturbance in the force, and it didn’t feel good at all.  

I pulled into the parking deck and smiled as I always did. There were Porsches everywhere. I guess if everyone drives a $120,000 sports car then your door is safe from dings. Finding your car in a sea of those amazing machines must be an adventure.

I grabbed my backpack, knotted up my tie and trotted to the building lobby shaking off the cold February air. Soon I was up to the Porsche floor and I bounced into the lobby. The receptionist smiled. She’d seen me many, many times and we had a good banter. Who are you here to see, she cheerily asked?

My brow must have furrowed, and I know my voice lowered. “I’m here to so the new guy, Joe Folz.” “But of course,” she said all of a sudden, all business. Uh oh.  

A few minutes later I was in the boardroom waiting on Joe. I looked at all the famous cars on the wall and admired the beautiful wood of the ornate table. I felt privileged once again to be in the holy of holies of all things Porsche. How many important decisions had been made in this rarified air?

Then there was a knock on the door. “Uh, come in?” I said tepidly. It was Joe. He walked in with a giant smile on his face and after a hearty handshake he almost seemed to levitate to the other side of the table. His focus on me was intense and he held nothing in hands. No phone, no pad, he was here to talk to me and me only.

I felt my blood pressure going down every minute of this conversation. Joe was 100% focused. Joe listened intently to what I had to say. Joe asked ME all kinds of questions starting with family. He wanted to know about my wife Karen and all about my kids. His approach was disarming in the best kind of way.

What in the world? A power player at such an important company taking a personal interest in me, a humble real estate broker. Soon, I was smiling and even laughing as Joe shared funny anecdotes about his past. He had been General Counsel at Volkswagen US for many years. He retired and went to work for a law firm. He told me keeping time at the law firm “really sucked.” He got offered the job at Porsche, he said, and the funny thing is, “I would have worked for free to be at this great company.” He looked like a kid in a candy store and I will never forget the…pure joy in his countenance that day.

You can imagine my relief that Joe Folz was not a good guy, but a GREAT guy. I immediately loved him and his endearing personality to this very day. I would run through a wall for him. I’d jump on a Delta jet anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice. Joe won my heart and loyalty in a few minutes in the Porsche boardroom. And I was his service provider.

Why?

Joe knew what he was doing. He knew the real secret to career success and to making people like you. He was other focused and when you are focused on the other person’s wellbeing they will reciprocate in spades. Joe knew how to build incredible loyalty from his team. I watched him many times as he walked through the office. He knew everyone’s name and people lit up when he called them out cheerily.

Joe Folz was like the mayor of a small town who would win every election for decades to come. He didn’t hand out candy or kiss babies. But he was intently curious about people and he remembered all manner of things about their lives.

Allow me to share three powerful things I learned from watching the amazing Joe Folz.

70/30 

Before we got down to the deal or the issue at hand at almost any meeting, Joe would spend time with the person on the other end of the table. I watched carefully as he did it tens of times in front of me. He would ask very specific questions about people’s families and keep drilling in a non-threatening way. I watched people light up and even nearly tear up at his sincere interest in them. You could see people feel positively refreshed and energized at Joe’s approach. 

I came to call this the 70/30 principle because he would spend 70% of the interaction asking questions about the person on the other end of the table. And he could recall what they said. He was wonderful at names and arcane details of people’s lives.  

What was the 30% about? Well, Joe was great at telling stories about himself. They were funny and humbling. And I realized that they helped the other party to remember him and to humanize Joe as a person. After all, he held an august position at an important company. Talking about himself in a certain way made you care for him almost immediately.

Tractor Beam 

I watched Joe in a number of social situations including cocktail parties, dinners and really all manner of gatherings. When you are an executive at Porsche, guess what everyone wants to tell you about? Yes, their car, or their grandpa’s car or aunt Ginny’s car. Everyone seemed to think that Joe would be fascinated by their own personal car story. I was bored and they weren’t even talking to me.

I watched time and time again as Joe had the “three-minute Tractor Beam” I called it. As the new friend was talking proudly about Uncle’s Bob’s such and such Porsche, Joe focused 1000% on them. It was as if there was no one else in the world and no one would interrupt. The recipient thought they were telling the most fascinating story ever and loved the interaction.

Joe was practicing the art that presidents, politicians and successful business leaders of all types have developed. The executive tractor beam. That is focusing on one. person. at. a. time. No interruptions allowed. This human interaction is a beautiful thing to watch.

Start From a Position of Trust 

Finally, Joe was clear with everyone in the business context (including me) that he trusted you. Until he didn’t. In other words, he assumed good about people. Many executives have the opposite approach and require supplicants to earn that trust.

When you start with trust, your body language and your words connote a certain warmth. It’s really disarming and a relief at the same time. “He’s on my side” you feel yourself thinking. And then…”I really like this guy…he trusts me.”

Joe was one of the most likable folks I’ve ever met in any context. Now, lest you assume he was a pushover, he was decidedly not. He was super smart, had a near photographic memory and was capable of destroying BS like Col. Nathan R. Jessup in the movie “A Few Good Men.” In any number of cases I wanted to yell at the poorly acting person on the other side of the table “You can’t handle the truth!”

But Joe started with love in his heart and trust in his approach and it showed.

Joe Folz was an exceptional Joe. I am privileged to have learned at the feet of the master of interpersonal communication. And from a man that had the mad love and loyalty from hundreds of people.

Not your average Joe at all.

Postscript

My friend Joe had a devastating stroke a couple of years ago. He was in a high official’s office in Stuttgart, Germany and fell ill. Joe later told me they were having a very cordial conversation. “His brain had a heart attack,” another executive told me. He appeared to have lost a bit of his cognitive function and that disarming smile is no more. It took him months to get home from Germany because of complications related to the stroke.

I had chance to visit with Joe last year at his home and it was truly wonderful to see him again. We sat on the front porch of his home and I brought him his very favorite…butter crackers from the famous Piedmont Driving Club. The stroke has devastated his body and his brain function. Even then, he asked me questions about my family. Amazing that after all that trauma he was mostly focused on…me.

I’m very sad about his medical condition, but I will always treasure our time together during the creating of One Porsche Drive in Atlanta. It was a career project, but really more importantly, Joe is one of the most important relationships in my career. He was a teacher writ large to me.

Now, Joe lives in retirement at a beautiful home in Florida. His kids are taking care of him and he is as happy as he can be. As a matter of fact, he told me before the stroke that he was happiest at the Florida house. Now he can live there full time.

I’ve learned much from Joe. Business interactions and really any interaction with a friend is all about what the other person is thinking and feeling.

And life is short. Don’t be an average Joe. Make your every interaction count as if it were your last.

And when you do, people will love you and run through walls for you.